Home My boyfriend does NOT want to find out the gender for baby, but i really want to know

My boyfriend does NOT want to find out the gender for baby, but i really want to know

This isn’t vegan related, but I don’t know how to handle this situation.

I’m 18 weeks pregnant and have our anatomy scan at the end of the month. We found out the gender for baby #1 but my boyfriend does NOT want to find out the gender for baby #2 and I really want to know.

I mentioned that I can just find out and not tell anyone, including him, and he got super sad.

I also mentioned that I can have the tech write the gender and seal it up for me so he won’t find out and he didn’t like that either.

He’s now trying to bribe me to not find out LOL.

Has anyone been in this situation? And how did you handle it or would handle it?


Nataly (anonymous)

As of right now I’m not finding out. I’m going to have them seal it and send it to my best friend because she wants to get gender specific gifts and neither my husband or I really care what we are having we are just happy to be having one.

Stephanie Welden (anonymous)

That’s a good idea,if she really wants to be specific,but then you’ll find out anyways if she gives those gifts at the baby shower. I got my niece an airplane toy that you pull and it does a vibration thing. It was one of her favorite toys,so gender stuff kinda bothers me but I understand that’s just not how our society functions.

Becky (anonymous)

He wanted to know and i didn’t. It was the battle of the stubborn wills with alot of discussion and in the end my reason for not finding out was better than his for wanting to. But I also said that if we have Another one in the future we can find out.

Alesa (anonymous)

I always wanted a surprise but my husband was so adamant he didn’t want a boy that I asked for the gender to be revealed at 10.5 weeks at the genetic testing because I didn’t want him to be disappointed at the birth and detract from my happiness. I’m having a boy, he was disappointed but has got over it now. However, now I know what the sex is, I can’t imagine not knowing! And if I ever had another one, I know I couldn’t wait for 9 months to find out!

Tory Mad (anonymous)

Mine was opposite. I didn’t want to find out with either. My husband did. We found out the first and decided it was fair to not find out the second. He just had to know though. It really upset me because I wanted to be able to see his reaction when our baby was born as to the gender surprise. Him knowing messed it all up for me because I always wondered if he would slip up. I ended up finding out and was upset about it and still am. I think you should respect that he wants it to be a surprise for both of you since you got to find out the first time.

Rebecca Marie (anonymous)

We were both dead set on finding out, but now have changed our minds. We have heard from labor and delivery nurses that many women labor better when they don’t know, and have seen that families can be less intrusive and judgemental when they don’t know. Same with the name. You also save more money when you don’t know because you don’t splurge on every adorable pair of suspenders or dress you see. It took me a few weeks but I am now very happy about not finding out.

Karin Shane (anonymous)

I certainly would validate his desire to not know, but your desire is valid too. Why should the medical staff know and not the woman bringing this child healthy into this world.

Christina (anonymous)

We waited. I wasn’t convinced at first as it’s hard to not be curious. It was important to my husband though and ultimately it just didn’t seem like a battle that needed to be fought. It really is a fun surprise though . I’m glad we didn’t find out.

Amanda Loop (anonymous)

I wish I would have kept this a surprise! I think it would be super fun! And then you can get a bunch of cute gender neutral baby clothes.

Emma Lücken (anonymous)

You’re carrying the baby and you’re entitled to know whether you having a little boy or girl, personally for me it helped me bond even further being able to picture my little girl.

Marisa (anonymous)

I found out with my son. I knew in my gut from 6 weeks that it was a boy, but I wanted it confirmed at the anatomy scan. I was single and trying to fix things with his father, and amongst all the uncertainty I needed something I could be sure of and plan for. Finding out it was a boy just ended in an argument about circumcision (I didn’t want one, he did). For the next baby, I will keep it a surprise.

Timy Show (anonymous)

I never wanted to know but my husband did. We have 4 children and split it evenly. We both were happy overall.

Alisha (anonymous)

If you want to know you should know. If he doesn’t want to know he shouldn’t have to.

Jenny (anonymous)

Don’t find out. It’s the best!! We’ve got 2 kiddos and pregnant with #3, haven’t found out with any of them. We had a boy first and a girl second, there is nothing more amazing in the world then wondering and guessing for 9 moths to have all your questions answered when you get to meet your new little human. You’ve had it your way once, let hubby have it his way this time. You’ll love it too in the end. Congrats and good luck!

Malory Kitchener (anonymous)

In a world where most people know everything and very little is sacred, I can tell you from the few people I know who have not found out, you will not regret not finding out. What more beautiful moment is thereto find out then when that baby enters the world! It’s incredible and sad so many will never feel this. I have had friends not find out for a first and and then find out gender for a second and really regret it. That magic moment of revelation at birth is lost if you know. My partner is also really anti gender stereotyping and says the only thing you can “prepare” when you find out gender are gender assumptions… which I think is also a great point? We are 23 weeks with twins and I am super curious but happy to wait. It’s so exciting! Once you decide to wait it’s actually pretty easy and fun to predict! All my siblings waited.